


Let's Go Back

by jxlchenn



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: AU where the the bookshop got burned with Hellfire, Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:17:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxlchenn/pseuds/jxlchenn
Summary: Where the flames that burned the bookshop were actually Hellfire, and Crowley and Aziraphale say things they don't normally say.





	Let's Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this tumblr fanart (https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/185843346470/someones-killed-my-best-friend-i-really-liked) that inspired me to write this. It's a bit heavy. I hope you enjoy.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

None of this was supposed to happen this way.

Crowley could still feel the bubbling anger he felt when Aziraphale, once again, turned away his offer of running away. His anger was not directed to Aziraphale - no, never - but to the millions of angels up above and the awful corporation he once called home for corrupting him like a puppet being controlled by strings to take part in the Ineffable Plan.

(The plan they planned to disrupt, which did not go as planned).

But Crowley wasn't Crowley without his emotional issues, and he misplaced and misinterpreted what he was feeling for anger. It was hurt. When Aziraphale had forgiven him, with those damned kind, always kind, eyes of him and that expression of gentleness that blurred the line with pity, Crowley thought, _No, you musn't._

And the sting of the hurt he felt roared like he felt salt being rubbed into it as he screamed back, _I won't even think about you!_

Demons are supposed to feel accomplished and triumphant with every sin they commit. Yet, why did it feel like Crowley had simultaneously lost every competition on Earth. Worst of all, he felt his place (chance, more like) on Aziraphale's heart slip from his hands.

So he drove back to his flat, screamed at his plants to _GROW!_ (the capitalization is extremely important), did not pack for his supposed trip, dealt with Hastur and Ligur, and promptly drove back to Aziraphale's bookshop because he couldn't stay away carrying the guilt of hurting the angel.

(It was difficult enough when they ended a conversation in disagreement back in 1862. With this one ending in Crowley screaming to Aziraphale, he was positive he couldn't _not_ beg for forgiveness a second longer.)

The burning feeling of the guilt he felt was caused by the bookshop's literal burning.

Tossing a quick response to the firefighters, he frantically barged in and began to shout again.

"Aziraphale!" He yelled on the top of his lungs. "Aziraphale! For Go - for Sata - for Somebody's sake where are you?"

There he was. Amidst the smoldering books and ashen paper, Aziraphale lay, motionless, with a glowing, vein-shaped burn mark on his cheek. Crowley had never actually seen the effects of hellfire, considering that he never had to use it, but he just _knew_.

"Oh no," Crowley gawked, then not-so-vaguely sauntered towards Aziraphale and crouched, "Oh no, no, no,"

He gathered Aziraphale to his knees, losing all efforts to seem cool and nonchalant to the angel, because who gives a damn about swagger when the world is crashing and burning in front of you?

"Aziraphale, angel, angel, please, please wake up," he began to sob, "please talk to me."

A few beats of silence. "Crowley.." Aziraphale croaked.

"Oh! 'Zira, angel, please hold on." He cradled Aziraphale's cheek, "you're gonna be fine."

"Crowley.." Aziraphale repeated, but Crowley knew the message. Perhaps it was always there, in every relieved sigh of his name during rescue, in every stressed scolding on him about how he won't allow him to risk himself. He just wasn't listening. _I.._

"It's going to be alright. I'm here," a sob, "I'm here."

"Crowley.." _love.._

A full-on weep, "I'm here, I'm here."

Aziraphale took a breath, and focused his eyes, his wonderful, kind eyes, to him. "Let's go back to Eden," he said, eyes begging, like a prayer.

Memories of them standing over the tallest wall to have existed on Earth flashed on his mind. He remembered when it was just the two of them, watching the first man defend the first woman, watching their love bring them survival from the unknown. Crowley wished he was able to show that unyielding love he felt just like how those two had.

He held the angel's hand, and felt him grip his in return like a lifeline. "Anywhere you wanna go," he meant it for the second time, "I'll give us a lift."

Aziraphale smiled the tiniest smile, yet that burned and glowed brighter than the Hellfire that roared around them, "Go as fast as you'd like, Crowley."

And the flame that mattered the most died out, and the ones that caused its death continued to breathe and destroy everything in its path. Crowley had never wanted to not have fallen this much before, for he longed to be engulfed in the fire around them and vanish in death and Aziraphale's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> That pained me quite a lot to write haha. This is my first good omens fic so kindly comment ~criticism~


End file.
